Padme
by kansasgal19
Summary: What if Padme hadn't died in childbirth? What if Darth Vader only thought she was dead? The story picks up on board Bail Organa's Tantive IV. Padme wakes up days after giving birth to Luke and Leia. Obi-Wan and Bail will help Padme devise a plan to keep her children safe and deal with the harrowing loss of her beloved husband, Anakin.
1. Chapter 1

Light seemed to suddenly invade my eternal rest. To my weak eyes the room appeared out of focus and uncertain.

I felt as if the life had been drained from my body. My limbs lay limp on my bed and my head felt heavy enough to fall straight through the ship. The moment I regained consciousness, the tears welled up. My eyes felt heavy. I tried to blink them wide-open, but the effort was too overwhelming.

I can't believe I am still alive. I can't believe I must go on living.

I let my eyelids rest again, but this time, I could not sleep. All I could think about were the events of the past year. I had been seduced and wed by a man who now served the most evil person in the Galaxy. I loved with all of my heart. Now I feel utterly ashamed. Anakin betrayed me, betrayed Obi-Wan, betrayed all those that he loved. He had killed younglins.

What kind of person am I to fall in love with such a man?

I know Anakin was once a good person, but any remnant of his goodness is gone. I feel so empty and alone. I curled up and turned towards my bed's wall. What will I do now? Where will I go? Where will my children go?

I heard my room's door open and light footsteps approached my bedside. "Padme, how are you feeling?" It was a familiar voice, but I didn't have the heart to face anyone.

How could I have been so blind?

"Padme, you could never have predicted Anakin's turn to the dark side. We both loved him and trusted him. Even I could not foresee his demise."

I understood rationally what Obi-Wan was saying, but I couldn't bring myself to face the truth: Anakin's dark destiny was out of my control. I felt Obi-Wan sit gently beside me. He rested a soothing hand on my shoulder.

"Would you like to see you children?"

The tears that had welled up since waking up began to pour out. I turned towards my friend and cried, "Oh, Obi-Wan, yes! Yes, I would like to see them."

Gently, Obi-Wan helped me sit up, put on my robe, and walk across the room. I was surprised at how weak my body still was. I had to lean on him so much that he was practically carrying me. My legs were trembling under the weight of my body. We left my rooms on the Tantive IV and crossed the hall to what I assumed was the nursery.

"Luke and Leia are beautiful," Obi-Wan reported. "Both have your eyes and your smile."

Both children lay sleeping in their cribs. As I looked down on them, I felt my heart leap in my chest. They were the most perfect living things I had ever laid eyes on.

For the first time since marrying Anakin, I was overwhelmed with joy.


	2. Chapter 2: Luke and Leia

As I looked into Luke and Leia's cribs, I felt strength return to my legs. I stood a little taller.

"He can never know, Obi-Wan" I said.

"It will be difficult to keep it from him. We are at an advantage, though. I sense that he believes you and your unborn children to be dead."

I could feel that, too. I knew the man I once loved was gone forever. But I had my children to think about. I needed to make sure they would always be safe.

Obi-Wan interrupted my thoughts. "Padme," he started carefully, "we may have to consider the idea of separating them."

"What? They should not be raised apart! Both should be together with their mother. Who could you imagine would care for them?"

He considered my retort carefully. "I'm afraid they must be separated and away from you. If Anakin feels your presence, reaches out, and discovers their existence, I fear they could be in great danger. You may lose two more of your beloveds to the dark side."

I was floored. I felt my legs give way again. The world seemed to spin around me, faster and faster, my breath quickened, and then the world was black.

I woke up again to Obi-Wan's face. His eyes were filled with concern and trepidation. "Padme, I am sorry for the shock I gave you. It was too much for your first visitation."

Although he was right, I knew that I must do whatever was necessary to keep my children away from Anakin.

"No, Obi-Wan. You were right." Every word felt like a dagger in my heart. "I just couldn't face it. I can't be with them. Though I don't know how I will survive without them."

Obi-Wan gently touched the side of my face. He smiled. "We may be able to arrange a discreet visitation and habitation plan. That is, if you are willing to share a residence with a Jedi."

"What Jedi?" I asked.

"I will do whatever I can to help you stay alive, Padme."

"But Master Kenobi, do you not have work of the Jedi to continue? Surely protecting me can't be your primary concern."

"You underestimate your importance to the Empire, Padme. Should Anakin ever find you, he could search your memory and discover the truth about Luke and Leia. You are a precious carrier with many secrets to keep."

I understood, but couldn't help feeling a bit overwhelmed at the task of living a secret life. I had always been a public figure, one that the people of Naboo could trust in. What would my life now be like in solitude?

"Obi-Wan, I am not sure there are many place on Naboo where I could find seclusion."

"Unfortunately, I don't think it wise for you to ever return to your home planet," cautioned Obi-Wan. "I fear Anakin has grown dangerously intuitive in his newfound dark power. I feel his anger. He bears much hatred towards his old friend, and I regret to say, his wife."

The words singed me, as if they might erode at my very soul. As Obi-Wan spoke about him, I felt as though Anakin were strangling me all over again.

"I feel such anger, Obi-Wan. Do you feel it, too?"

"I do, Padme. I, like you, loved Anakin very much. The betrayal is devastating. It is my worst nightmare. I promised Qui-Gon that I would train and care for him. And I failed."

"You can't blame yourself. The Emperor is powerful, and seductive. He led Anakin down a path he could not come back from."

"I ought to remind you of the same, Padme. You could not have saved him."

I had no problem consoling my dear friend, but letting myself be free of the guilt was too much. I was guilty. I had indulged Anakin, supported him, almost to the end, and certainly to a fault. I had helped him down his path.

Obi-Wan stopped my thoughts. "Padme, you must rest your mind. I'll leave you for the time being. Bail Organa will kindly house us in Alderaan for a time while we develop a plan. Goodnight, Padme."

I know the Jedi are hesitant to express emotion, but I felt so alone. I couldn't help but wrap my arms around Obi-Wan. I hugged him tightly and whispered, "Thank you."

He returned my embrace warmly and smiled, "goodnight, Padme."

As I watched him leave, I heard one of my babes stir. I turned to see Leia sleepily batting her eyelashes. I leaned over her crib and caressed her head.

"I promise to protect you."

I sat beside her crib and watched her fall sweetly back to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3: Meditation

The door shut automatically behind me and I was relieved to be alone. Padme's sorrow had overwhelmed my senses. I had already been reeling from my own grief, but seeing Padme in such distress was too much to bear. I collapsed against the wall outside the nursery. Head in my hands, I wondered if we could ever find joy again.

"Obi-Wan?" Bail called from down the hall. I shot up quickly and collected myself.

"Good evening, Bail."

Bail was a dynamic public figure. He was unlike any politician I had ever met. He was dynamic, yet kind and sensitive, uncorrupted by power. He walked quickly towards me to assess my health.

"Are you alright my friend?"

"Yes, yes. Just a bit tired. It's been a trying time." I sighed and contemplated how understated my comment had been.

"You can say that again," Bail laughed. "Well, please try to rest. I think we are safely clear of any Imperial entanglements. We should be to Alderaan before morning."

"Thank you, Bail. I can't thank you enough for sheltering Padme, Master Yoda and myself."

"It's the least I can do, Kenobi." He turned and headed back to the controls. I was left to my thoughts again.

Oh, Anakin. How could you? Look what you have left behind. I wish I had been more of a father to him. Perhaps if I had shown more care and affection, he would have been less likely to confide in Palpatine.

But these thoughts were dangerous. It is not the Jedi way to harbor guilt, sadness, and fear. Feeling emotion is one thing, but holding fast to it is quite another. I needed to meditate.

I returned quickly to my rooms and relaxed. Clearing my mind took longer than usual. Master Yoda always speaks about the level of baggage one carries in relationship to the time it takes to clear the mind. This night took nearly ten minutes to achieve a completely cleared mental state.

I saw sand, stretching for miles in all directions. Glimmers of light bounced off the surface and into the horizon. A small farming community emerged. A young couple – I recognized them from Anakin's mind – unable to have children.

The image disappeared quickly and my mind cleared. The next vision to appear came slowly and more deliberately. Green trees and shrubbery built piece by piece on the canvas of my mind. Towering city buildings juxtaposed against the natural mountainous landscape painted my mind's eye. It was a luscious sight.

And then I saw Bail Organa with a young girl trailing behind him, watching his every move.

My meditation ended quickly after spotting the young girl. I knew what needed to be done next.


	4. Chapter 4: Pondering Separation

If only I could sleep. I had so many thoughts running through my mind. The idea of leaving my children was one that I was still very uncomfortable with. But what choice did I have? What choice did Anakin leave me?

The nursery droid had taken over caretaker duties so I decided to get some exercise. I wondered if pacing might even help me decipher what to do next.

I found myself wandering through Tantive IV's halls. The ship was quiet at this hour. It must have been very late, nearly two hours past midnight. Suddenly, I felt a serene presence.

"Much sadness I sense in you, Padme."

I turned around to face Master Yoda. "Master Yoda, good evening."

"Good evening. Follow me, you will."

He turned and walked towards the bow of the ship. I obligingly followed. Master Yoda led us to one of the ship's galley. He grunted slightly as he hoisted himself into a kitchen chair."

"Sit, my child."

I sat. Master Yoda stared calmly at me, as if he were taking in every thought, every emotion I had ever had. I felt guilty across from him. I had led Anakin into a life unbecoming of a Jedi.

"Did no such thing, you did."

"Excuse me," I asked. He couldn't have possibly heard that.

"Heard it, I did, and disagree wholeheartedly I do. Yes. I disagree."

"Disagree? How could you," I begged. "I played a part in him parting from the Jedi ways."

Yoda seemed to grin. He audibly mused and replied, "Love him, was all you did. Reminded him of the Jedi path, you did. The force is strong in you."

"I am no Jedi."

"No, no you are no Jedi. But the force is in all of us. It binds us together, surrounds us, can help you with your sadness, it can."

The force. It was hard to imagine that an invisible faith could restore my happiness. I knew I would never be happy again.

"In time, joy you will feel again. I foresee great legacy in you, I do."

I doubted Master Yoda. "Trouble seems to follow me, Master Yoda."

"So it may seem," he hopped off his chair. "I'll leave you to wander, then. Goodnight, Padme."

I paced the halls of Tantive IV for what seemed like hours. After such trauma and weakness, I imagined my walk would not last very long. But with every step, I thought more and more about protecting my children. My instincts gave my body strength. My head felt lighter and I stood even taller.

I looked forward to resting on-planet. Perhaps even enjoying a few nice meals and a warm bath. More importantly, I looked forward to spending every moment possible with my children.

I still puzzled over where to hide my children. Other than Obi-Wan, Master Yoda, and Bail, I had no trustworthy connections left. Even my family on Naboo would be unsafe for my babes. Anakin, if he ever found out, would surely search for the pair there first.

Still puzzling, Bail Organa came from around the corner walking towards the rear of the ship.

"Good evening, my lady," he said. "I am so pleased to see you finally up and gaining back your strength. We should be landing in a few minutes."

"Thank you, Bail, for everything. You took a great risk bringing me, the Jedi, and my children on board."

"It is no risk to do what is right." He didn't even blink while saying this. "While the right choice is not always the easiest, it is always the only choice worth pursuing."

The honesty in his voice was almost shocking. I had never met anyone like him before. I knew him from the senate, but he seemed to flourish in his new role. He clearly prided himself on his morals and I held the utmost respect for him.

I wished I could instill those values in Luke and Leia. Anakin would have never said anything remotely like what Bail Organa had said to me.

Anakin talked about power, about manipulating situations to play out in his favor; he never once thought about anything other than himself. Whenever it seemed he was caring for others, there was always a reason.

"My lady, are you alright?" Bail asked.

"My apologies, Bail, I must have gotten lost in my thoughts. Again, thank you for your kindness."

"It is my pleasure to serve you." Bail nodded, smiled, and headed on his way to land the ship on Alderaan.


	5. Chapter 5: Yoda and Obi-Wan Make Plans

I gathered myself as quickly as I could and headed straight for Master Yoda's quarters. He had probably already reached the same conclusion, but I always found it helpful to confide in him.

Master Yoda was waiting outside his door.

"Come in, Master Kenobi."

"Thank you, Master Yoda." We walked into a dimly lit room with a sofa and a small floor pillow. Master Yoda situated himself on the pillow and I settled in on the sofa.

"Master Kenobi, a vision you have seen, yes?"

"Yes Master, and the clarity was unlike anything I have ever seen. I saw pictures, people, places."

Master Yoda closed his eyes and began to meditate. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes and smiled.

I was excited that Master Yoda had seen a similar vision. "Master Yoda, you see it, too? I sense that Luke should be on Tatooine. Leia should be with Bail Organa on Alderaan."

"Yes, Master Kenobi, I agree. Leia to Organa will go and Luke to Tatooine."

Master Yoda continued to smile.

"Master," I asked tentatively, "what else do you see?"

"The force is strong with Luke, and it is also strong with Leia. Each a different Jedi strength, you see, and each planet well-suited to each strength. I foresee balance in the force."

"Balance? But Master Yoda, Anakin was to bring balance to the force. Many foresaw it."

"Clouded have their visions been in the shadow of the Emperor," noted Yoda. "Palpatine right in front of us he was, blocking us from the truth."

I nodded in agreement. That was certainly true. I had not seen his evil, nor had many on the Jedi Council.

"You spoke of balance, Master Yoda. Explain what you mean."

"Obi-Wan, when visions of balance we saw, Anakin the first to come to our minds, he was. But overlooked were his children, bred with a kind woman. Very different from Anakin, she is. And strong in the force."

"Do you mean to say that Padme is a Jedi?"

"Never trained, no, no, not a Jedi, but in tune with the force. Connected and bound by it, respects it, loves it."

"I see," I responded. "So how will balance come about?"

"Difficult to say," my Master mused. "But I sense Leia will lead a great rebellion. Luke, his destiny to me is unclear, dangerously unclear."

I was afraid of this. "Luke must be taken far from the Emperor. We must take all measures to ensure that he is forever separated from his father," I vowed.

"And, his mother," reminded Yoda.

"Yes, his mother." Although Padme pretended to be strong, I knew this would be the most difficult time in her life.

"And be there for her you must," said Yoda. "Take Luke to Tatooine, but return to Alderaan. Stay with Padme there until more comfort she feels. Slowly moved to the Organa's care Leia will be."

I had to ask. "Master Yoda, are you saying that Padme will never see her son again?"

"Yes."


End file.
